Vegan sadness is valid

I got a lot of comments last year about how I've become "so much better" as a vegan. I understand my friends were tired of me consistently being upset over factory farming animal abuse, and my subsequent push for veganism, but these comments unsettle me. They praise me for being a "nice vegan," but truthfully that is not a label I would claim with any pride. In my experience "nice vegans" are simply silent vegans.

I am very proud of my growth as an activist--I've focused on effective communication and understanding where non-vegans are coming from. And part of that growth was learning the limitations of veganism, problems within the vegan movement, and emphasizing flexitarianism as a solution (something probably a lot of vegans would even be upset at me). I don't even resonate with vegan twitter like I used to, because there's so much all or nothing, echo chamber type content that I don't think furthers our movement. But I don't consider myself less radical, at all.

If anything I am more radical. I can't remember the exact quote, but in the Animal Activist's Handbook there's a quote about how "the true radicalization of an activist is when she sheds her hippie clothes and pink hair for a suit and briefcase." In other words, it is when we construct ourselves to be most effective and appealing to a wider audience, that we are at our most intense activism. Obviously I think this take should be moderated, because I think personal expression is important, and this whole "we have to be a perfect face for the vegan movement" can go into the territory of we have to lose weight/be more conventionally attractive to appeal to non-vegans. I reject that territory, but I agree with the concept that radicalization does not always "look radical."

Anyways, I think vegans are constantly gaslighted for caring about animals. I seriously cannot get over how upset people get over dogs in fictional movies, but vegans are over-sensitive, over-emotional, illogical, for caring about animals being tortured and slaughtered for yums by the billions everyday (I am counting fish, btw). Who is really the illogical one here? And don't get me started on radical leftists who immediately defensively reject animal rights philosophy. How can you be against oppression and hierarchy when you demand that a sentient, feeling, (and often more intelligent than we grant them to be) being sacrifice their life simply for your meal?

We are constantly gaslighted into thinking our issue isn't important, that animal rights isn't a "real" social justice movement, that we are just being sensitive children, and that is why when I start, in a sense, going along with this charade (by being less overtly radical), I am applauded. But I don't want that applause, because I am having to suppress my real anger, my real sadness at this atrocity that is factory farming, to keep you comfortable, so that you may not be scared away from veganism. And that close mindedness that we are having to adapt ourselves to is nothing to celebrate.